Friday, May 29, 2009

A total creep almost out "creeped"

If I hadn’t already written my book based on nearly 40 years of constant babe watching, an incident today during my lunch hour could easily have served as inspiration to for me to do so. I might have been a victim of amateur hour at the plaza. Some guys have the best of intentions but don’t know what they are doing.

There I was making my “rounds” during lunch hour. Today I was walking around an outdoor plaza checking out the babes when I noticed one sitting on a ledge and who appeared to be texting with her cell phone. More importantly, she was leaning forward and wearing a somewhat open circle neck top. Better yet, she had a good sized chest and a tiny bra, leaving an ample portion on display while she was leaning forward to type on her phone.

From past experience I know that if I come up to the ledge and get too close to her, that would distract her and she would leave. As long as I keep my distance, I would have a while to take in the nice view she was making available. Moments like these are what make the invention of texting and extended cell phone applications worthwhile to us total creep guys. She, like other babes, was too focused on her phone to realize just how loose her top had become.

So I went over to ledge and put my foot up and my hand over my eyes as if to be looking for someone while standing about 6 feet away from her. Enough to not be in her personal space. Yet close enough to be able to get a nice angle down her left breast.

However, after about 5 seconds, and just as I was starting to lean further to see all the way down her top, some guy (I’m thinking late 40’s) came along and sat down in between. And the first thing he did was to look right at her. I’m thinking he saw her sitting there like that, just as I had, and wanted to catch that view for himself.

Instead, he ruined it for everybody. Once he cut in front of me to sit down, he momentarily blocked my view down her top and distracted me as I realized he was sitting there, almost squeezing me out. The moment he turned his head toward the babe, it was over. She, as most babes would, then felt the presence of a man in her comfort zone. Or as I should say, a guy nearby. Within an instant, she got up and walked away.

It could have been a coincidence. She might have finished and sent her text. But she also could have saved it and walked somewhere else (without guys hanging around) to finish it. I don’t know. To make matters worse, and to not appear obvious (since this is a plaza I frequent just for this purpose), I had to hang around for about 30 seconds standing there as if looking for someone with that jerk of a guy the only person next to me on either side.

There is no way he could have seen as good of a view as I got down her top, but he also ruined my chance to see even more. During my appearing to wait time, I thought about telling the guy about my book. He sure needs it. You don't just sit right down and expect to look down a babe's top. But I didn’t want to reveal my identity in one of the places I frequent.

Guys, there is a science to seeing quality body action from hot babes. This was my version of an extra in a movie scene waving during the 5 seconds he is in a camera shot. It just shouldn’t have been.

After about 30 seconds, I left the ledge, but needed to go in another direction from where that babe went. So I didn’t get my chance to see even more inside that top of hers. But, as a total creep like me must do, I forgot my frustrations and moved on to the next challenge.

But fear not, as at least I went in the right direction. About 50 feet later I watched as another hottie was just about to sit on an open back chair and was putting some food on a table. Wearing a tank top that only came down to her belt. I pulled out my trusty cell phone and appeared to be getting a text. Just then, that babe sat down, and sure enough there was a couple inches of pure butt crack showing. As I walked closer, I got more of a look and I did not see panties. (Many babes keep their panties down lower so underwear doesn't show.) But as I stopped as if I was texting, she then reached back and pulled her top down and blocked the view.

In this instance, my being there did not cause her to check her top, since I was behind her. No way she could have seen me. (If she had, I appeared to be concentrating on my phone, just as anyone else nearby would have thought.) Many babes check their back (so to speak) within 5 or 10 seconds after sitting down.

At least I made this a positive. Had that jerk not ruined my further view down the first babe’s top, I probably wouldn’t have had my 5 to 10 second window of opportunity to see some butt action. At least in that area of the plaza. While that jerk missed every opportunity to see the goods. The moral of the story - if you are going to do something, do it right.

The audio book version of “ Total Creep – A Guy’s Guide “ is still available at . Readers comments and questions are welcome at at

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