Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Choose your elevator ride carefully

Readers and listeners to “ Total Creep – A Guy’s Guide “ continue to write with questions and comments at at

Bob T. of Indiana writes:

“I loved listening to your book and agree that your announcer did a tremendous job. Unfortunately I don’t live near the tall apartment buildings you wrote about, but I am using your techniques at festivals and sports events. One question I have is why you comment about riding on elevators with babes. That was the only part I didn’t quite get.”

Thanks for the kind words, Bob. But on to elevators. They are not exactly feasts for guys like us, but the concept is that riding up or down a few floors can be made a bit more pleasant. I suppose I might have made this part of the book too brief since it is not a major part of checking out the babes. So I will elaborate for you………..

This really applies to elevators in professional and office buildings, colleges/universities, and multi-story shopping malls (such as a couple of 7 story malls in New York, Chicago, etc.).

My best example comes from the years I worked in an upper office of a 30+ story office building. I would watch for one or more babes waiting on an elevator when possible and try to check out what she or they are wearing. I would appear the perfect gentleman by letting her get on first.

This was really to give me the opportunity to position myself depending upon her outfit. For example, if she had a button down blouse with openings, I would then enter and stand next to her on the side of her facing inside her blouse buttons in hopes of seeing in where her boobage meets her bra. If she is wearing a loose fitting and/or low cut top, I would stand slightly behind her so that I could look over her shoulder or down one side of the V-neck. On rare occasion, she might have low rise jeans or a low hanging skirt on and I could stand behind and look for butt crack or a thong.

When there is more than one babe entering the elevator, I do my best to choose the best possibility. One babe is bound to have more skin showing or be wearing something a bit more revealing than the others. Sometimes I judge by best looking but most of the time I try to enter the elevator positioned to check the one with the most revealing outfit.

During those days, I happened to work on one of the upper floors of the building. This would come in handy because most of the time the babes would be exiting the elevator going up before me, and I would remember which floors in the building tended to have the hottest babes. There were many times when I would be the last person standing after the last babe would exit on a lower floor. This gives the advantage of easily being able to stare her down for panty lines and/or to enjoy a nice butt until the elevator doors close again, since no one can see where I am looking. It is also handy information for the way down. If (for example) I see the elevator stopping on the 17th floor, I might then be standing closer to the door to be able to move back and position myself to see down a top or jeans for the rest of the ride back down.

While a lot obviously depends upon your situation, it can help to make mental notes. If and when you find a babe in the building who shows a lot of skin, it could help to have an idea of when she comes and goes. Babes won’t question guys like us riding an elevator to work or on business.

You might catch a break. A couple of times I have witnessed what appears to be a babe going for an interview or important presentation. She has openly reached inside her blouse to adjust a bra strap and either not realized or not cared that I could see all the way down the bra while she did that.

I did not put this in my book, but I do have an example of how paying attention while riding the elevator can lead to better. A few years ago I had regular business on a college campus. A couple of times I noticed a major hottie who would usually wear low cut and open collars with a skimpy bra underneath in order to show a ton of cleavage. Twice around the same time each morning I saw her on the elevator and the 2nd time I followed her to a nearby plaza where she would sit and have her lunch with a couple of friends. When she would sit and lean forward to eat, guys could get a wonderful look down her top.

Over the few weeks I had the opportunity to be there, I would wait by the far end of the bank of elevators on the first floor starting a couple of minutes before she would usually arrive. Let’s say she would come down about 11:45, so I would make it a point to be at the far end as if waiting for an elevator by 11:42. When I would see her come out, I would appear to have just gotten off a different elevator behind her and to be walking her direction toward the food court. She wouldn’t think anything of it, since if she noticed me earlier it would have been riding down on the same elevator as her, so she would think I really did have reason to be nearby. (And I’m not a good looking guy, so who is to say she would have even noticed me anyway.) This method gave me the opportunity to walk right past her and get a healthy glance down her top both on my way to and from the food court.

I realize that this situation doesn’t come up often, but the more I present the more possibilities there are for us guys. The situation with the hottie having lunch came about because of my paying attention on an elevator. Admittedly, I have never seen nipple or anything major on an elevator ride, even though I have seen hundreds of peeks at bra and panties. My feeling is that I would rather look at that than watching the numbers of the floors go by! Hope this helps, Bob.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Missed it by a hair..............

As much as I enjoy long hair on a babe, there are those rare occasions when it becomes a disadvantage for a total creep. Like today during my lunch hour. There I was walking through an outdoor plaza on a hot summer day when I spotted a hottie sitting at a table and leaning forward to take a bite of lunch. Her top was very loose and from a few feet away walking toward her I was pretty sure I would see all the way down past whatever she had on (or didn’t have on) underneath.

However (and this is one of the few times I use long hair and “however” in the same sentence), her long hair was also leaning forward with her. Worse yet, it was thick long hair. I got along side and I couldn’t see a thing. Even a minute later when I just happened to be walking back past her from behind on the other side of her. And a minute later when I walked back by her again just as she leaned forward. Couldn’t see a thing.

My best consolation is that when I turned to look from behind I saw the outline of her bra across her back, so at least I wasn’t shut out of a total boob view. Of course, I don’t know if it was a low cut or loose fitting bra which could have yielded a lot of boob had I been able to see down. At least I would have had the best possible angle and my timing was good, but there are some things that can’t be helped.

This was not my only bad break in the past few days. (I have received a couple of e-mails from readers and listeners of “ Total Creep – A Guy’s Guide “ asking me to blog about my “failures” and how I deal with them, and thought it was a good idea.) On Friday at lunch, I was walking through a different plaza and from behind noticed a babe sitting at the top of a stairway wearing what looked to be a somewhat loose top. It was tucked in to her pants very well, so not even an opportunity to see butt crack, so I knew my only opportunity would be over the shoulder down her top when I passed by.

Unfortunately, she was defending a total creep even while sitting on a stairway. Not only was the butt protected (even from panties showing), but just before I was to walk past her she put her hand up and clutched her top tightly. She either heard or felt (sitting on the ground atop the stairway) someone coming near. I don’t think she could have known if it were a guy or a woman, but she had the instinct to cover up. So I didn’t get to see a thing. As tempted as I was to turn back and ask her if her man had read my book and given her tips about this, I kept walking.

For the thousands of tops I have seen into and down, along with seeing up and down skirts, jeans, and shorts, even an expert like me is not always successful. It is like the long-time baseball analogy that even a .300 hitter (among the best) does not get a hit 7 out of 10 times. Same for the daily attempts of a total creep like me.

As I have said countless times, the hundreds of times that all I see is “nothing”, bra, or panties are made worthwhile those instances when I see significant flesh while walking out and about. Same with spying on babes with binoculars. The hours spent some nights waiting for clothes to come off that I don’t get to see or seeing a guy naked but not his wife become secondary when compared to the hours of watching babes come out of the shower, walking around exposed, and all of the rest.

Meanwhile, I am happy to answer questions and comments from readers and listeners of my book via at

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Porn or binoculars?

The readers and listeners of " Total Creep - A Guy's Guide " continue to write...........

Allen M. of Illinois writes:

"I found the book to be useful, even though it turns out I can only see into one babe's place from my home and so far I have only seen her topless. But I am looking into moving later this year and now I know to look at places near apartment buildings or condos. As much as I enjoy the detail you go into, I have to ask if it is worth all you go through to see these babes. Wouldn't it be easier to watch porn? Or do you also use porn?"

First, Allen, consider it good practice for the one babe you can see from home for when you move later in the year. You still have the challenge of seeing her bottom parts, and learning the best way to do that will help for if and when you have more possibilities to watch.

You are not the only guy wondering about how I use porn. Of course I enjoy porn. But being married, I actually have fewer opportunities to enjoy it, since my wife does not. Late at night it is easier for me to use my binocs because my wife knows I'm in my office (thinking I'm on the computer) after she goes to sleep at night. But she can often hear the TV so I keep sports or news programming on. Most of the porn I watch is during the day when I have the chance, which is also a time when I can't see any babes through the binoculars anyway,

Personally, I enjoy the combination of spying on babes and porn. My thing is that I love seeing the goods of "real" babes. I don't have any porn in which girls are with guys. I watch to see the babes, and prefer "real" babes anyway. I enjoy the "Girls Gone Wild" and "Naked College Coeds" type which show real babes naked or in various stages of undress. That is what I spy on babes for, so it all fits together.

As for the time I spend in pursuit, I do it because I enjoy it. Other guys do it, even if not on a regular basis. The purpose of my book is to help guys to be able to identify opportunities to see some boobs and bottoms and then know how to take advantage. Not every guy goes to work where he has the chance to see babes on a daily basis, or lives in a situation where he can see into where babes live. Or if he can, he may not have the privacy to do so. Because checking out the babes is so much a part of my day and has been for over 35 years, I consider myself as providing expert advice.

It is not like I need to choose between watching porn or scoping out the babes. There is plenty of room for both!!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Remembering the first time

Cindy C. of Maryland writes:

"Please be assured that I did not and do not plan to read your book. But unlike a lot of women if some jerk sees my boobs I realize it is not the end of the world. But I asked my boyfriend about your book and creeps like you, and he told me that a lot of guys are like this. He even told me how he remembers the first time he ever saw a girl naked and claims a lot of guys recall that, right there with their first love. Why is seeing a naked girl such a big deal?"

Thanks for writing, Cindy, and thanks for being so level headed. My short is answer is that I don't know. It's a guy thing. It starts in grammar school or no later than high school and in many cases it never stops. And for guys who saw a naked babe for the first time prior to and separate from it being their first sexual experience with a girl, they tend to remember both.

In my case, these were separate experiences, and even though they happened more than 30 years ago, I still remember both. Actually, I may be extreme, as I have 3 such very clear memories of a "first time".

While writing my book, "Total Creep - A Guy's Guide", it got me thinking about what could have happened that still has me thinking like a 14 year old boy even as I hit 50 years old. I do think that childhood experiences have influenced my thinking in some respects. My first 3 times seeing female nudity in person were all "components". (Magazines don't count - I'm talking in person.) Let me explain.

My first time ever happened during lunch hour when I was in 8th grade. A group of guys were hanging around in the school yard when a 20-something woman that we knew was mentally challenged but had a nice body was walking by toward her home down the block. We were commenting that she looked really good when she obviously heard us and came over in our direction. One of the guys, who was a bit of a troublemaker, came right out and asked if she would take off her top, and she said no. Then another pulled out some coins and tossed one at her. She reached over and picked it up. Then, as if on cue, all of us guys reached in and pulled out money and handed it to her. We practically had her surrounded and even though we were in the school yard, it would have been difficult for anyone else to see her in the center of our group.

She then pulled up her sweater, unhooked her bra, and stood there with her boobs exposed for about 20 seconds while the group of hormonal boys shrieked with joy. Then she put her bra in her purse, put her sweater back on, and walked away. That was my first time seeing live boobs, and I got a good look and enjoyed it as much as any of the other classmates.

A couple months after that, a classmate invited me and a couple of other guys over on a day off from school during the spring. He told us we could get a show. We arrived and he told us to be very quiet as we snuck into his family's garage. That we couldn't make a sound. We listened. Sure enough, we got out there, went to the side window in the garage, and could see into the yard next door. There was a woman probably in her 40's but she was laying out on a towel and was topless. Finally, she turned around and we all got to see her boobs for a few minutes. That didn't turn me on as much as the other guys because she seemed so old. But again, I didn't see her totally naked.

My book details my first time seeing a live vagina, which was shortly after I started using my binoculars and saw a neighbor college girl spread her legs in her kitchen while wearing a nightie. Then with the binoculars I saw a couple of other girls private parts, although not always at the time time, before my first sexual experience with a girlfriend.

While I remember these experiences clearly (and know that many other guys remember theirs too), I am convinced that these stories from long ago continue to have an impact on me today.

Even when I began having sexual encounters with my first girlfriend, I remember how thrilled I was to see her boobs, but how she turned the lights off so it took me a couple of encounters before I finally saw her vagina up close.

The point is that my early experiences with in person female nudity were "components", and how I was fine with that. And even today, I often have to make decisions on whether to try and see the top or the bottom, and how seeing even one of the body parts pleases me.

But there is more. When I began having sex, having my girlfriend with me and being naked added to my excitement of being with her because here was a girl naked because of me and wanting me to see and touch her. To my way of thinking, seeing other babes' bodies added to my excitement level.

That was all more than 30 years ago.

Even now, years after being married, I still find that seeing body parts of other babes adds to my excitement level when I am enjoying my wife sexually. I could see where you, Cindy, and other women might consider my looking down a tank top or the low rise jeans of a 20-something babe as a form of cheating on my wife. Personally, I don't, because as much as I enjoy seeing as many of the female bodies as I possibly can, I am not looking to replace my wife or have sex (or any involvement for that matter) with another woman.

My wife doesn't know I check out babes to the extent that I do, and she wouldn't like it either. I understand that. But she also doesn't know how my having done this since we have been together has enhanced our physical well being. I think she would make that "trade off" if she were given the choice.

So, yes, Cindy, you will find that guys remember seeing their first naked girl along with the first sexual encounter if different. The effect is long lasting.

Oh, and keep those boobs available. It might make some creepy guy's day!

Readers (and sometimes non-readers) of " Total Creep - A Guy's Guide " can write me with comments and questions at at

Friday, June 5, 2009

Even a total creep makes a mistake.........

Greg C. of Ohio writes:

“I enjoyed listening to your book 100% of the time. And I like your blog, especially when you comment about what you consider to be mistakes. I am learning just as much from those. While I don’t want to make mistakes while checking out the babes, especially after sharing with us guys, would you tell us if you do?”

Funny you should ask, Greg. Just today during my lunch hour stroll through an outdoor plaza I made what I consider to be an error in judgment. So I will start to present “mistakes” I make to readers and listeners of “Total Creep – A Guy’s Guide”.

I was walking through an outdoor eating area again today, and noticed a babe with a slightly open top who was about to lean forward to take another bite from her sandwich. I also glanced down and it appeared that her top was short enough to allow possible butt crack from behind.

As I know to do, I slowed my walk and managed to time it to be walking “above” her as she learning forward. I got a glance at her bra, but it turned out to be a bra that covered her left breast tightly. But for some reason, I continued to look down her top, and that was my mistake.

Had she been wearing a small or loose fitting bra, or not been wearing one at all, there would have been every reason to continue looking down her top for as long as possible without making it that obvious. But that was far from the case. I don’t need to see bra without actual breast being visible, even when I can’t see all the way down.

As a result of the extra couple of seconds looking down her top at her bra, I was already a step or two beyond her when I turned back around and realized that I would have had a view down her lower back and possible butt crack. But by that instant, all I could see was the loose fit of her jeans and skin. Now not low enough to see any butt crack or panties, but I could tell that had I been closer, and looked there when I should have, I would have seen butt crack if it was there for the taking.

I’m not sure why I missed the opportunity, especially when I always tend to practice what I preach. But, of course, there was no time to deliberate at that moment. I had a couple more babes to check out before the end of the row, although I didn’t score anything worthwhile checking either of them out.

A minute or so later, I got to end of the plaza and went to the street corner just beyond. As usual, I stood there, looked at my watch, then looked around as if I’m looking for someone, and shrugged my shoulders. Then I turned to walk “back”, taking the same path from the other angle.

Looking ahead, I noticed that same babe was still seated, but now was sitting up further than when I walked by and blew it the first time. So I knew that I would not be able to get as good of a look down the back of her jeans as the chance I missed.

There is somewhat of a happy ending to my “mistake”. It turned out that I got enough of a glance down her jeans to see the top of her panties (not a thong) and no evidence of butt crack. Thus, had I gone by her the right way moments earlier, all I would have gotten was bra and panties and nothing else. All in a day’s work.

When I returned to work, I knew I needed to analyze what happened that caused my error that kept me looking at her full bra. Within moments, I realized what happened. A couple minutes earlier, I saw a hot babe seated with her jeans hanging down so low that some butt crack was showing even several feet back. I didn’t even need to get close up and look straight down to see it (even though I did anyway!). It looks like I got overconfident and figured that the next babe after that would be just as easy. She wasn’t. Reality set in. Not that many babes in a given place are leaning or bending or standing or sitting in such a way that some breast or butt crack could be seen.

The fact that the babe I made the mistake with happened to have been wearing high panties (my term for it when regular panties are pulled up above butt crack) is not significant. I could have missed out on another butt crack view, so I need to be aware that, unless I’m at a nude beach or some totally obvious situation, I shouldn’t get overconfident. Each possible view needs to be treated with the same level of concentration.

Again, Greg, a great question, and I’ll continue to point these things out. Readers and listeners to “ Total Creep – A Guy’s Guide “ are welcome to comment at at

Meanwhile, thanks to a guy named Todd for the nice and unexpected review:

One of my e-mail alert services just sent that to me. I'm glad so many of you guys are enjoying!

Monday, June 1, 2009

Private moments for private parts

The readers and listeners of " Total Creep - A Guy's Guide " keep the questions and comments coming.

Kenny B. of Pennsylvania writes:

"I thank you much for your great book. I live across from an apartment building and never even thought to use my binoculars as you suggest. Your detail is amazing. But I must admit that I feel like I am invading people's privacy. I saw a woman counting out money at her kitchen table and that was weird. How do you deal with that? And just how often do you see a private sexual situation?"

Thanks for two important questions, Kenny. On the first one, I understand exactly how you feel, even though it never stopped me. My reason for looking into their homes with binoculars is not to find personal information, yet it does factor in to doing what I do. Using your example, my concern would be what she was or wasn't wearing while counting her money. If she was fully dressed and not at a time of the day where she might change clothes or shower, I probably would move on to another apartment.

Quite honestly it is not always that simple. Sometimes I do find out "too much". I wrote in the book about the apartment with the hot mom and her teenaged daughter I used to spy on and how I used to see them both undressed. Your question reminded me of how I knew where the mom kept her jewelry and some valuables. Even though I have zero criminal or dishonest intent, I would rather not have known that. Yet, I wasn't about to stop watching her. I knew this because she would often take off her jewelry and empty her purse and put it away as the first step toward getting undressed for the evening. So there was no way I was going to miss that. I look at it as part of the game. Just as an athlete is not looking to injure another player, there are instances where they force a collision or significant contact to help the team win. I am looking into that apartment to see the babe(s) naked or with as little on as possible, and anything else I learn is incidental.

Regarding your 2nd question, the privacy issue comes into play in much the same way. I have watched couples doing the act on several occasions. Yes, it is an invasion of privacy. However, my mission is to see everything I can when they complete and the babe gets up, rolls over, or moves in such a way that I get to see her entire naked body. Sometimes I wind up seeing the guy, but I consider that a price to pay for seeing the babe. On a personal level, I don't care what she is doing or with whom.

There have been a few times I have watched babes play with themselves. I tend to spend more of that time wishing they would move their hand away for a few seconds so I get a better view than I do thinking about how it violates her obvious need for privacy. There was one babe in particular who would aggravate me by sitting on her couch talking on the phone (I'm guessing it was to her boyfriend) and playing with herself under her panties. She would never pull the panties down further (understandable since he would be on her couch at the time) and I would go entire evenings and not see any of her goods. But I kept waiting for the opportunity which didn't happen.

On the other hand, there have been times I have been proud of myself for keeping with my wanting to see the body of the babe and have no further involvement. Just last week I was on a bus seated next to a babe (OK - that was no coincidence) who started going through her purse and opened her check book for a moment. I could have seen her name, address, bank, and her checking balance, along with her ID badge for work. Instead, I went back to my original focus of trying to see down her blouse.

These answers don't make me right. It is perfectly within reason for you to feel some guilt. As for me, I can't help it. It's like the person who just started losing weight and someone puts his or her favorite treat in front of them.

Here is another way to put it. I want to see their "privates", and not what they are doing in private.

Good luck, Kenny. Let me know if you find something good!!

Readers and listeners can e-mail your comments and questions to me at at