Cindy C. of Maryland writes:
"Please be assured that I did not and do not plan to read your book. But unlike a lot of women if some jerk sees my boobs I realize it is not the end of the world. But I asked my boyfriend about your book and creeps like you, and he told me that a lot of guys are like this. He even told me how he remembers the first time he ever saw a girl naked and claims a lot of guys recall that, right there with their first love. Why is seeing a naked girl such a big deal?"
Thanks for writing, Cindy, and thanks for being so level headed. My short is answer is that I don't know. It's a guy thing. It starts in grammar school or no later than high school and in many cases it never stops. And for guys who saw a naked babe for the first time prior to and separate from it being their first sexual experience with a girl, they tend to remember both.
In my case, these were separate experiences, and even though they happened more than 30 years ago, I still remember both. Actually, I may be extreme, as I have 3 such very clear memories of a "first time".
While writing my book, "Total Creep - A Guy's Guide", it got me thinking about what could have happened that still has me thinking like a 14 year old boy even as I hit 50 years old. I do think that childhood experiences have influenced my thinking in some respects. My first 3 times seeing female nudity in person were all "components". (Magazines don't count - I'm talking in person.) Let me explain.
My first time ever happened during lunch hour when I was in 8th grade. A group of guys were hanging around in the school yard when a 20-something woman that we knew was mentally challenged but had a nice body was walking by toward her home down the block. We were commenting that she looked really good when she obviously heard us and came over in our direction. One of the guys, who was a bit of a troublemaker, came right out and asked if she would take off her top, and she said no. Then another pulled out some coins and tossed one at her. She reached over and picked it up. Then, as if on cue, all of us guys reached in and pulled out money and handed it to her. We practically had her surrounded and even though we were in the school yard, it would have been difficult for anyone else to see her in the center of our group.
She then pulled up her sweater, unhooked her bra, and stood there with her boobs exposed for about 20 seconds while the group of hormonal boys shrieked with joy. Then she put her bra in her purse, put her sweater back on, and walked away. That was my first time seeing live boobs, and I got a good look and enjoyed it as much as any of the other classmates.
A couple months after that, a classmate invited me and a couple of other guys over on a day off from school during the spring. He told us we could get a show. We arrived and he told us to be very quiet as we snuck into his family's garage. That we couldn't make a sound. We listened. Sure enough, we got out there, went to the side window in the garage, and could see into the yard next door. There was a woman probably in her 40's but she was laying out on a towel and was topless. Finally, she turned around and we all got to see her boobs for a few minutes. That didn't turn me on as much as the other guys because she seemed so old. But again, I didn't see her totally naked.
My book details my first time seeing a live vagina, which was shortly after I started using my binoculars and saw a neighbor college girl spread her legs in her kitchen while wearing a nightie. Then with the binoculars I saw a couple of other girls private parts, although not always at the time time, before my first sexual experience with a girlfriend.
While I remember these experiences clearly (and know that many other guys remember theirs too), I am convinced that these stories from long ago continue to have an impact on me today.
Even when I began having sexual encounters with my first girlfriend, I remember how thrilled I was to see her boobs, but how she turned the lights off so it took me a couple of encounters before I finally saw her vagina up close.
The point is that my early experiences with in person female nudity were "components", and how I was fine with that. And even today, I often have to make decisions on whether to try and see the top or the bottom, and how seeing even one of the body parts pleases me.
But there is more. When I began having sex, having my girlfriend with me and being naked added to my excitement of being with her because here was a girl naked because of me and wanting me to see and touch her. To my way of thinking, seeing other babes' bodies added to my excitement level.
That was all more than 30 years ago.
Even now, years after being married, I still find that seeing body parts of other babes adds to my excitement level when I am enjoying my wife sexually. I could see where you, Cindy, and other women might consider my looking down a tank top or the low rise jeans of a 20-something babe as a form of cheating on my wife. Personally, I don't, because as much as I enjoy seeing as many of the female bodies as I possibly can, I am not looking to replace my wife or have sex (or any involvement for that matter) with another woman.
My wife doesn't know I check out babes to the extent that I do, and she wouldn't like it either. I understand that. But she also doesn't know how my having done this since we have been together has enhanced our physical well being. I think she would make that "trade off" if she were given the choice.
So, yes, Cindy, you will find that guys remember seeing their first naked girl along with the first sexual encounter if different. The effect is long lasting.
Oh, and keep those boobs available. It might make some creepy guy's day!
Readers (and sometimes non-readers) of " Total Creep - A Guy's Guide " can write me with comments and questions at ic.london at live.com.