Friday, July 2, 2010

Was he obvious as a total creep?

Rick K. of FL writes:

"I hope I didn't mess up. I had listened to the part of your excellent book where you discuss not letting on to others that you are looking at them (the babes). This morning at work I was by the front desk when the cute receptionist was leaning over to work on a form. I couldn't help it. She had one of those open bras on and I could see almost to the nipple. I guess I had an obvious smile on my face from enjoying the view. However, when I started walking past her, I looked up and one of the male bosses was looking right at me. I'm sure he could tell what I had just seen from where he was standing. In trying not to act frightened, I winked at him and shrugged my shoulders as if to use body language to say "You missed a great view". Then I went on with my work, and nothing at all was said. The receptionist either never knew I looked or didn't complain to anyone. Nothing was said by anyone for the rest of the day, so I seem to be safe. Is there anything else I could have done?"

Good question, Rick. I thought about this one for a while. I have been in that same situation a couple of times myself. One that I recall was when another male co-worker and I were across from the desk of a young hottie and were talking with each other about something work related. She probably didn't realize it, but she got up from her chair and then bent over to get something out of the file cabinet next to her desk, giving both of us a great view down her top. She was (also) wearing a loose fitting bra, so we got quite a view. Being the composed total creep I am, I continued talking about whatever it was, so she had no idea of what we both saw.

Then, she took the file she got and left the room to take it to whomever. The other guy and I then smiled at each other, and he reached across to slap five with me. Nothing further was said about it. He basically thanked me for continuing to talk and make it appear to the babe that we were not paying attention. So I understand things like that happen.

In this instance, and those such as your incident, the important thing is that the babe didn't know what was really going on. Sounds like the guy you had at work understood that you happened to be there. If she was leaning over and others saw you walk over and very deliberately look, that would probably be a different story with consequences.

I would say, in cases like these, that is OK to let it be known that you enjoyed the view, as long as you (or I) didn't deliberately go out of the way to get a glance.

This is not to say that there shouldn't be times that you purposely move to look. If you do, you need to be careful, as I discuss throughout the book. But since in the above instances others noticed, it's probably OK to act as though it was a one-time fluke, you enjoyed it, and you move on.

This week, I am in an eastern city on business. This morning I was on a commuter train when a cute babe had a wardrobe malfunction (like I need to be politically correct for this blog?). She was not wearing a bra, and had a loose fitting sleeveless top on, thank you very much. As she was adjusting her collar, it pulled her sleeve are up a few inches toward the front. Almost all of her left boob was clearly visible for a few seconds until she re-adjusted. As soon as she adjusted and it wasn't showing, I noticed the guy next to me on the right turning his head away with a big smile on his face. So these things happen a lot. Yet, if someone was watching us, the other guy smiling was a giveaway that he saw. On the other hand, I maintained a straight face, so no one could tell I saw anything if they were watching me.

Putting these stories together, I can now answer your question. I would bet the guy at work could tell by your expression that you got a good look. The trick is to maintain a straight face and act like you didn't see anything no matter what. Had you known to do that, you probably would have avoided the fear of that guy making it a problem for you at work.

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