Monday, June 21, 2010

fun in Madison for a total creep

Being a total creep made all the difference in the world on Saturday morning (6/19). As many of you know I travel a lot for my (real) job, and I love it because of the opportunities it often affords to check out the babes in different regions.

With some luck and even more planning, I was in Northern Wisconsin on business on Friday, and decided to stay over into Saturday after I heard about the first ever Naked Bike Ride scheduled for Saturday in Madison. Whereas, the ride in Chicago the week before (which I was not able to attend) was late at night, the Madison group decided to have their protest ride during the midday.

A fellow total creep friend tipped me off to the starting location, and there was some publicity about "observation locations" throughout the ride. But I feared this ride might not go as planned, and sure enough it didn't:

As the story indicates, there were several arrests. Worse yet, female riders were especially targeted and had to cover up.

But, as readers/listeners to my "Total Creep - A Guy's Guide" can attest, I was prepared for this one, and fortunately, did get to see the babes that participated either totally or partially naked prior to the "cover up". It would have been a major bummer to have traveled to Madison just for this and then missed out. I can tell you from seeing past rides in other cities (this is part of a "World Naked Bike Ride" national grouop) that they do get a percentage of babes of college age and in their 20's to ride.

I was tipped off as to the meeting point for the riders. I drove my rental car over, and saw where the riders, still fully dressed, were following the leaders over to a vacant garage. Unfortunately for me, they were inside to disrobe and for some to apply body paint.

I then drove away and scouted out the first "observation point" and it looked good. It was about 15 minutes into the ride, and was a bike path in a park along one of the lakes in Madison. Better yet, other than a few creeps like me, there wasn't a crowd there, and the bike path is not very wide. That meant that I could get close to the path when the time came. This was an ideal situation. The other rides like this I have seen go down actual streets, so you can only get to curbside. Thus, any babes on the other side of the street, or even in the middle between guys, are tougher to see a good look at.

Yet, I knew I had better see this "ride" early on, in case of police problems. I then drove back near the starting point, which was them riding down a busy street for the first few blocks. Sure enough, there were several babes worth seeing, even though I was back on the sidewalk, but I had an idea of where they were in the line. (Naturally, it's mostly guys riding in these things, but you got to take the bad with the good!)

After they passed by, I jumped back into my rental car and went back to that park. I parked close and walked over to the bike path with about 4 minutes to spare. So I was able to walk to the start of the park and get right up along the bike patch. I'm talking maybe 10 feet between me and the other side of the bike path, so they were all going to ride right by me! And I had an idea of who to look for.

Of the babes in the ride, there were about 5 or 6 decent lookers who were completely naked, and maybe 8 to 10 others who were topless. Two of the completely naked babes had no body paint where it mattered, thus leaving everything out in the open. Since I was able to stand so close to where they were riding, even when one of them stopped peddling in order to keep her legs straight while passing by me, I was able to see her boobs while she was coming up, look over her left leg as she rode by (since it was steady) and see the beaver, and then get a nice butt view after she passed by. It was nice to see another of the completely naked babes that was completely shaved down there not paint over it.

It was also nice that a couple of the babes were willing to show themselves even though they would normally have even more reasons to keep covered. One had what appeared to be different sized boobies that each hung at a slightly different angle, while another had what looked to be a scar on her butt. They deserve a lot of credit for doing the ride!

There were maybe 80 to 100 people or so on the ride in total. Never mind the fat guy with blue body paint with his you-know-what totally hanging out as he led the group. I was easily able to not bother with the guys and spot the babes in the group.

After they all passed by, I had originally planned to go to another vantage point on their way back to the start/end point. But I also saw a police presence a few hundred feet beyond where I went. And, guys, that turned out to be my best move to catch these babes early. I had a hunch this ride wouldn't go well, and actually decided to head back to the airport early.

Sure enough, as the news reports indicate, there were some complaints, arrests, and worse yet, the babes were among those asked to cover up. So if you are going to check out a naked bike ride in the future, do whatever it takes to get an early vantage point.

Oh, and if the babe who had black paint looking like tire marks on her right boob is reading this - please know that you were the best looking one in the ride, even though you were wearing bottoms.

Now today, I can't believe there were arrests. Part of this ride went onto the University of Wisconsin campus. A major party school. You can't tell me there isn't nudity at other times for the police to deal with. They could have let this go, and made it a better day for the guys in town!

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