Wednesday, December 2, 2009

First date for a total creep

Danny of GA writes:

"I messed up on a first date with a hot chick over the weekend. She works in a store near where I work and it got to the point where I was stopping in there with any excuse to see her. I finally got the nerve to ask her out, and she agreed to go for dinner and then hang at a bar we like after. Until the date, we only saw each other well dressed for work.

When we met at the restaurant Saturday night, she was absolutely stunning. And she had on a cute low collar shirt that went quite a way down. She leaned toward me early in the conversation and it didn't look like she was wearing a bra, but I couldn't tell for sure. I'll admit that her fantastic chest was a distraction. During the meal, she started getting quiet and sat back a lot more on her side of the booth.

We finished the meal and she leaned forward again. Next thing I know she was looking me in the eyes with a look that could kill. She then told me that she did not appreciate me talking to her breasts instead of her face and that she tests guys that way. She said I failed miserably and that her evening with me was finished. She offered to pay for her portion of the dinner, but I told her it was on me since I had asked, and that I was sorry. But she is long gone. She gave me a dirty look when I went into the store today to say hello. So I blew it. And I didn't even get to find out if she really didn't have a bra on. Now I'll never get another look.

I listened to your audio book and loved it. I know I screwed up by letting her catch me looking at them, but I couldn't help it. She was looking so hot. How have you handled it when a chick you were dating would give you an opportunity to see in?"

Great question, Danny. Sorry you lost out on this one. I've got to hand it to that babe. That is quite a test for a guy.

You were somewhat of a victim of circumstance. Probably too bad you and her got a booth instead of a table. If you had gotten a table, you might have been able to sit to one side instead of in front of her, and then be able to see down her collar when she leans forward to bite her food. But that option wasn't available.

I thought about it, and I did have one first (or maybe second) date where she was wearing something revealing, so I understand the situation you were in. From what I remember, this one also had an open top and I couldn't tell if she was wearing a bra either. But it was a circle top so even sitting by her side I couldn't see far enough down.

When we got up to leave the restaurant, I knew to let her walk slightly ahead of me, and that gave me a glance down her sleeve. But it wasn't very light and I couldn't see down enough to tell. Obviously, I had to know if she had a bra on or not. I know what you were going through. A few seconds later, we got to the revolving doors at the front. I casually put my hand on her back as if to quickly guide her into the door like a gentleman would. My "casual" placement of my hand felt the top of her bra, and I quickly pulled away as if I was sorry I put my hand there. It came off totally innocent. Yet, the result was that I now knew she was wearing a bra and that I didn't need to risk being caught (like what happened to you) if I couldn't see a nipple anyway.

As luck had it, we wound up having several more dates and eventually having sex, so I was able to see her naked on several occasions.

I do understand how you felt, and how you reacted to what she was wearing. You'll just have to chalk that one up to experience. And think to get a table and sit along side her next time. Maybe the "new" store you will start shopping at will have a nice hottie working there.

But here is another first date story I experienced that I did not put in my book. I tried to do something wrong, and do not recommend this, but it shows how I understand your frustration last weekend.

A first date I had with a babe was going slowly. We got along well, but it wasn't turning into a dating connection. We enjoyed the movie and stopped off for just one drink after, but it turned in to one of those "polite" dates where nothing was wrong, but it was obvious that neither of us cared to take it any further. I had picked her up at her condo and was fine with taking her home, and then walking her to her unit since it was after dark.

I knew we wouldn't go out again, and I was fine with that. She did have a great body, however. I'd say she had 36 C's, although she was dressed warmly and not revealing anything. After we said goodnight, without even a kiss, she went inside. I'll admit that I figured she might be getting undressed to stay home for the night and I liked her body a lot more than her personality.

So I began a very slow walk back to my car. By way of walking around the side and back of her unit taking a very long way around to the guest parking area. I'll admit that what I was doing bordered on being a peeping tom, since not everywhere I walked was a truly public walkway. Not something I would "normally" have done. But I figured that was my one chance to see some of that hot body.

It didn't work anyway. I saw lights go on upstairs in what I'm guessing was her bedroom and then her bathroom. (You can almost always determine which is the bathroom light.) Not only were they upstairs, but she had the blinds closed anyway. I could see into part of her kitchen downstairs, but knew it wasn't worth the risk of waiting for her to come downstairs. By that time, I would not have had any excuse to still be outside.

However, I kept that incident (or lack thereof) in mind over the years I was single and dating around. I reminded myself that was wrong and risky. Ever since, I only use my techniques for seeing down her top, jeans, or wherever else I can sneak a look. Otherwise, seeing her naked or partially naked would just have to wait until we would have sex.

So, Danny, you can learn from your experience. Only use opportunities to sneak a glance when you know she can't catch you in the act. And change your approach. If and when you date another babe who is letting it show, you would probably pick up points from her by not looking at all (that she could ever catch you) and appearing unphased by it all. I have to believe that babe you saw last Saturday does that to every guy she goes out with and most of them fail her test. But think about it. If you pass her "test" by dating her head instead of her boobies, those boobs will be available to you in short time.

Good luck!

Readers and listeners of my audio book "Total Creep - A Guy's Guide" can e-mail me with questions or privately at at The book and audio book are available at

No comments: